The answer from the parents was negative
when the adolescent daughter asked for permission to attend a late-night party
of girlfriends the following day. And yet a couple of her friends came in time
to pick her up. Smartly dressed for the party, the daughter departs oblivious
to the decision and displeasure of the parents. The daughter had already registered
with the parents a catalogue of such examples previously, some even more worrisome
In fact, seeking permission and then doing exactly what she intended
to do regardless whether permission was given or not, was the daughter's "dutiful
way" of only informing the parents so that they were aware.
the parents, that is, mostly the father, often supported by the mother, who 'graduated"
their daughter to this irreversible status of freedom in her relation with them.
However, the graduation came about gradually in phases as the daughter grew up
The Doors To Graduation.
There was the primary
phase, to start with, which then inevitably opened the doors to the two subsequent
phases leading to the graduation. The parents would more often than not decline
permission to the daughter unfairly as a tradition when she was a child because
they felt "No" was rightly safer than safely right. However, as the
refusal was unfair but always pops out first as a tradition in the family, there
would "rightly" be a reversal later to please not only the daughter
but also the parents them-selves!