The answer from the parents was negative when the adolescent daughter asked for permission to attend a late-night party of girlfriends the following day. And yet a couple of her friends came in time to pick her up. Smartly dressed for the party, the daughter departs oblivious to the decision and displeasure of the parents. The daughter had already registered with the parents a catalogue of such examples previously, some even more worrisome to them.

In fact, seeking permission and then doing exactly what she intended to do regardless whether permission was given or not, was the daughter's "dutiful way" of only informing the parents so that they were aware.

It was the parents, that is, mostly the father, often supported by the mother, who 'graduated" their daughter to this irreversible status of freedom in her relation with them. However, the graduation came about gradually in phases as the daughter grew up from childhood.

The Doors To Graduation.
There was the primary phase, to start with, which then inevitably opened the doors to the two subsequent phases leading to the graduation. The parents would more often than not decline permission to the daughter unfairly as a tradition when she was a child because they felt "No" was rightly safer than safely right. However, as the refusal was unfair but always pops out first as a tradition in the family, there would "rightly" be a reversal later to please not only the daughter but also the parents them-selves!