Chapters

Teach the Child to Think

Treat the Child as an Adult

Allow the Child to Speak

 

"Touch & Tie" the Child

 

Let the Child be a Child

 

Spare the Child from Inferiority Complex (Three Parts)

 

Instruct the Child Once Only

 

The Child's First Participation in a Religious Congregation

 

Introduce the Child to the Clock

 

The Child with Culture of Reading is More Visionary

 

The Child and his Concept of Allah swt

  The Culture of Talking to Allah swt
  The Child Let Sulking Ceases Sulking
  Gaining Vision from Family History
  School Enrollment with a Spring-board
  Mother's True Love for Son is Sharing his with his Wife.
  Smart Shoes and the Child
  Childhood Trauma
  Slip of Expletives in Conversation-As a Habit
  Foster Charitable Nature in the Child
  Childhood Nickname can Stunt Personality
  Disciplinarian Parents on the Wrong Footing
  Favouring Boys is Wronging Girls among Children
  Groom the Child in the Art of Conversation
  The Child and his World of Fantasy
  The Child's "Book & Buddies"
  Allow the Child his Moments of Privacy
  Save the Child from Risk of School Antipathy
  Make the Child Understand Prejudice
  Handle the Child's Fragile Trust with Care
    

 

Child Psychology
Childhood Trauma -18

wickedness of the community seeing her trying to make him resign to the sudden disappearance of his father.

The boy would feel anger well up inside him at the solace being offered to him by the relatives because he thought them to be cynic or hypocrites having seen their enthusiasm in the burial. He avoided contacts. He prolonged his absence in the school. The presence of female visitors at home gave him the pretext of a somber recluse in his room.

The scenes of the burial would flash vividly to torment him. The innocent scene of the old person shifting his thick reading glasses back up to the nose-bridge again and again as he went on with his hoarse recitation of the burial "talqeen" kept coming back to his mind again and again. He did not want to wipe the scenes off his mind because by doing so he would also be wiping off his bitterness which he did not want to.

All the indications were that the child has developed not depression or grief -but worse -a typical trauma, which when originating in childhood. is difficult to erase from one's mind completely even after the reality of this life becomes clear. It always keeps haunting in the adult life. It obscures the vision of the goodness of many aspects of, this world. It rebels at the thought of death being mercy. It becomes less easy to resign to the reality of this world which is attendant with the vicissitudes of life some of which are bitter and have to be accepted as normal.

The indications of a trauma vary from person to person who is afflicted according to the degrees of the stress and the circumstances which cause it.

Death Is Mercy.
It is essential for the parents to realise that death can visit anyone of them suddenly and much sooner while their child may not have been prepared by them in advance about the reality of this world. He has to be made to understand and accept that this mortal life is a blessing only because it offers the soul an exit in the form of death to an eternal blissful life; hence death is mercy to be awaited and embraced.

Death as a subject should not be taboo for discussion with the children in the family. What a moving saying of the holy Prophet in which he points out that death itself is an effective preaching (for those living.)

Apart from the discussion. the most effective preparation is to arrange for the child to have his first experience of witnessing the gusal (body washing), kafan (shrouding) and dafan (burial) of a member of the community, not closely related, under agreeable circumstances while the father is with him explaining the significance of the series of rituals.

« Previous              Next »