| wickedness of the community seeing
her trying to make him resign to the sudden disappearance of his father. The
boy would feel anger well up inside him at the solace being offered to him by
the relatives because he thought them to be cynic or hypocrites having seen their
enthusiasm in the burial. He avoided contacts. He prolonged his absence in the
school. The presence of female visitors at home gave him the pretext of a somber
recluse in his room. The scenes of the burial would flash
vividly to torment him. The innocent scene of the old person shifting his thick
reading glasses back up to the nose-bridge again and again as he went on with
his hoarse recitation of the burial "talqeen" kept coming back to his
mind again and again. He did not want to wipe the scenes off his mind because
by doing so he would also be wiping off his bitterness which he did not want to.
All the indications were that the child has developed not
depression or grief -but worse -a typical trauma, which when originating in childhood.
is difficult to erase from one's mind completely even after the reality of this
life becomes clear. It always keeps haunting in the adult life. It obscures the
vision of the goodness of many aspects of, this world. It rebels at the thought
of death being mercy. It becomes less easy to resign to the reality of this world
which is attendant with the vicissitudes of life some of which are bitter and
have to be accepted as normal. The indications of a trauma
vary from person to person who is afflicted according to the degrees of the stress
and the circumstances which cause it. Death Is Mercy. It
is essential for the parents to realise that death can visit anyone of them suddenly
and much sooner while their child may not have been prepared by them in advance
about the reality of this world. He has to be made to understand and accept that
this mortal life is a blessing only because it offers the soul an exit in the
form of death to an eternal blissful life; hence death is mercy to be awaited
and embraced. Death as a subject should not be taboo for discussion
with the children in the family. What a moving saying of the holy Prophet in which
he points out that death itself is an effective preaching (for those living.)
Apart from the discussion. the most effective preparation
is to arrange for the child to have his first experience of witnessing the gusal
(body washing), kafan (shrouding) and dafan (burial) of a member of the community,
not closely related, under agreeable circumstances while the father is with him
explaining the significance of the series of rituals.
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