| imparting information and not avoiding
it; and yet. how often we come across the : t annoying examples of the purpose
being defeated quite innocently by this ugly habit. A polished
or refined personality is reflected mainly in the art of conversation. There may
be a person who is intelligent. sharp and highly educated and yet he will have
failed to master the art. Similarly, a person may look distinguished
in appearance. stature or in his walking gait to strangers but is known to his
friends and acquaintances as having no matching personality because he lacked
the art of conversation. A person is groomed in the art of
conversation either from his childhood or learns by emulating the examples of
those who have impressed him by their practice of the art. It is part of the elementary
grooming when parents keep reminding children to say: "Please", "Thank
You"' "May I", "Al-hamdu Lillsh" (Praise to Allah), "Insha'alla",
(Allah willing), etc, in the course of conversation. Poor
Personality
Looking sideways or darting the eyes here and there while
talking to a single person. raising voice unnecessarily. over-gesticulation or
dramatisation. talking fast or unduly excessive talking, liberal changes of face
expression or tone of the voice, interruptions or exclamatory interjections. head-movement
to show disagreement while the person is still talking; all these show a lack
of the art of conversation.. Children should be taught to avoid every one of these.
They reflect a poor personality in an adult. The contents.
choice of words. the style of expression and the timing are also important. Even
more important is the expression of face when conversation is punctuat- ed with
arguments or contentions. A thin smile playing on the lips while about to reply
instead of a frown or stern eyeing would signal a gentle and sincere. and therefore
effective. disagreement without inviting quarrel. Avoiding
a lengthy discussion of an important subject in the street or raising it only
if the time and place met is mutually convenient is also a peripheral part of
the art. Children should be taught never to say the same thing twice in the same
conversation. Punctuation of "You see", "Okay"?'
"I mean" and the likes must be stopped before the habit takes root.
The child with the habit will make a poor speaker. Children
normally are short of vocabulary. The right adverbs and adjectives are the real
problem. So listen to this: "The soccer player kicked the ball" Booom!'I
(meaning IIhard'l). It flew 'Shoooo"' (meaning "fast') towards the goal.
but the Goalie tipped it
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