Title: Child Psychology
Author: Mohamed A. Khalfan
Publisher: Tabligh Centre, Dar es Salaam
First Edition: December, 2002
Multi-coloured covers A5 size 93 Pages

This is a "household" book with 30 Chapters written for Muslim parents on the important subject of the Upbringing of Children with the application of Simple Psychology, Broad Parental Vision and Islamic Values. The Book is useful to the parents in helping their children develop a strong personality and assert it fully in the adult life to fare well in the society for a dignified survival as human life gets more complex with newer challenges and a wider spectrum of competition .

The Book mentions incidents and scenarios for impact not only in relevance but also in values. It is also candid in the seriousness of the message it attempts to convey to the parents.

The Preface underscores the seriousness as follows: "It is sad, though understandable, if street children are seen to be lacking such parental help. However, it is not understandable and therefore even more sad if there are also those children who are well placed in their families and yet receive no such help simply because such well-thought help was almost unknown in the preceding generations in the families and is still so now."

The book begins with a chapter whose title gives a jolt: "Teach the Child to Think", so that when grown up, he is not like those adults who are afraid to make decisions and they either borrow them or let emotions produce them. The book warns: "The road to hell in this life is paved with emotional decisions". Of course no proofs are necessary for this as we look around ourselves.

Chapter 6 on How to Spare the Child from Inferiority Complex is in three parts, only to show how serious is the condition if it is let to take root from childhood. As no person is perfectly sane, no person is also perfectly free from this complex.

The chapter therefore gives lucid examples and sets various scenarios and the tell-tale symptoms in childhood while the parents and the child are themselves unaware of the start of this insidious and agonizing condition. As adults, such children fail to adjust to the condition and a full fruitful life becomes doubtful

However, the Chapters that demand the community's serious concern are those which deal with the gender injustice as an old lingering culture in the family.

One is Chapter 16 which explains the trend in which a mother in law mis-treats her daughter in law because the son, now the husband, was raised as a weak-minded child. It is the mother who made his decisions and would not let the wife encroach in the relation. The marriage is always at stake.

The other is Chapter 23. It explains how a daughter when married lacks self-confidence in her role as the wife and then as the mother, and here too the marriage is at stake, because the boys were favored by the father over the girls in communication and closeness while the daughters were relegated to the docility and meekness of the mother in the family, as a preparation of a dowry in the form of a legacy.

As the book progresses from one chapter to another, a reader cannot fail to be impressed that a distinct and assertive personality is a crucial asset in the life of every person and it can only be well developed if its foundation is laid in the childhood under a supportive upbringing of the parents.

In the present age of advanced professional knowledge, there is a large number of candidates with almost equal qualifications to choose from for a responsible post advertised. The employers have begun to frame questionnaire and conduct personal interviews with a view to selecting a candidate who has an indication of a distinct personality as the deciding factor.

A copy of the book makes a precious gift to a couple on the occasion of the birth of their first child.

The copies from the first edition have been sold out because of the prior publicity in East Africa and the minimal price set to attract a place in almost every home. The intention is to have limited copies published as second edition by an institution in Canada. The quantity will depend on the inquiries which continue to be received.

Reviewer,
Baqir Alloo, Toronto,
Email: baqiralloo@rogers.com