Experiment without knowledge is like putting fingers in the fire without the pre-knowledge of the burning effect of the heat. Likewise, Marriage without pre-marital education is like flying an aeroplane without know-how. The above statements may somehow seem to be exaggerating, but for those whose fingers have already burnt in the marriage conflicts, and are faced with the dilemma of divorce, psychological traumas faced by the separated children, and other related difficulties will agree with the above statement.

What is then the solution? "Marriage Effectiveness training " (M.E.T.) would help ease the problems if not solve it altogether.

One wonders to see that for every profession, job and carreer in life, precise training, utmost care and accountability is exercised before its take-over. But such preparations are not carried out for marriage union which is a highly sensitive, demanding and full-time life carreer.

Does the marriage institution not require a pre-marital training course or "Marriage-effectiveness Training" in order to make it succesful? Should the marriage of unexperienced couple be taken as granted that it would blossom to its pure completeness without precautionery measures? Do the rights and responsibilities of husband and wife need not education? Does not all the highly important and scientific aspects of marital life like love, sharing, compromise, sex, pregnancy, birth-control, parenthood, home-making, finance, children, relation to in-laws, carreer, hobbies, interests, etc. not require guidance and education?

Please ponder over the following topics and questions which may form the contents of the 'Pre-Marital course or Marriage Effectiveness Training' in order to appreciate the importance of such a course before the actual marriage:

a.. Why should we marry?
b.. Is marriage only for the pleasure of sex and/or pro-creation?
c.. What is the philosophy of marrriage in Islam? Which age is best for marriage?
d.. What is the difference between puberty (bulugh) age, and sexual and mental maturity for the timely marriage?
e.. What are the advantages and disadvantages of early marriage and /or delay in marriage?
f.. The merits of timely marriage can not be over emphasised, but when is that time?
g.. How to remain pure from corruption and sexual deviations in the prime age of youth?
h.. How to overcome economic and monetary hurdles faced by those wishing to marry?
i.. How to balance between continuation of education and/or professional carreer and the duties of the family?
j.. How to balance between rights of spouse and in-laws? What considerations should be given priority while searching for a perfect match?
k.. What methods should be used in selecting a match for oneself?
l.. How to solve conflicts, big and small, arising in the daily family matters?
m.. In which circumstances, if at all necessary, divorce becomes unavoidable?
n.. How to handle the sexual urge before marriage? etc.
The role played by parents in giving pre-marital education to their maturing children is commendable, but it is not sufficient in this highly volatile environment? What effective methods should be applied to impart pre-marital education to marriage-seeking youths? Some of the methods applicable in Muslim Communities are as follows:

a.. Special separate crash-course for boys and girls wishing to marry.
b.. Availing sufficient literature on the above topics. Organising seminars on different themes on the marriage life.
c.. Forming a committee of trained marriage counsellors and psychiatrists to help the youths.
Due to the importance of "Marriage Effectiveness Training (M.E.T.)", Muslim communities should insist on such courses before issuing marriage certificates.

N.B. Above is the summary of the paper that was presented in the International Conference of March 1998 : 'OUR MARRIAGE WAYS - WILL THEY SURVIVE THE NEXT MILLENIUM?' Organised by: Khoja Shia Ithna Asheri Muslim Community of Birmingham, on the Occassion of: 'Silver Jubilee of Birmingham Jamaat's Celebrations'.